You're probably wondering why follow Jolene Dickson? What is so interesting about Real Me by JD that sets this blog apart from all the other personal development and self-care blogs? Well, let me tell you why... I am an ordinary person. I come from a middle-classed home and had a fairly average childhood.
I was a person who was very outgoing and quirky. I was a go-with-the-flow teenager. I would describe myself as someone who was outspoken about my views and opinions. I was constantly searching for happiness in all my endeavors. I loved to try new activities and experiences. Making new connections and deep conversations felt like heaven to me. My favorite thing to do as a child and young adult, was to spend time with my huge family. We had the best times together! Filled with laughter; jokes; teasing; good food and spent quality time together. We fought hard but we loved harder. As a family we would always make sure to have lunches with each other every Sunday [at best] and every holiday. We always had sleepovers at our cousins'. We were all very loud; spontaneous and crazy. I very much enjoyed [still do] listening to music and dancing. I was slim in build at the time, with a need to be perfect in terms of my dress code or how I carried myself in front of people outside of my family. I was a real dreamer. However, I had a rebellious side to me that came out every now and then.
I would take on so many things and sometimes not complete it i.e.: a course or an activity out of sheer boredom or laziness. I struggled with depression, an eating disorder and people pleasing. I would suffer from burn out and exhaustion with trying to "be and do it all". I turned to partying with friends and socializing often. I guess that is normal and expected at that age when trying to find your place in the world and trying to discover who you are as you're developing.
I also grew up in a very dysfunctional home and environment. My parents were very strict with myself and my siblings growing up. I now understand that they didn't know any better then and they were trying to do their best at the time. They probably had little to no experience as to healing their own traumas that manifested in their personal lives which projected onto us kids. I experienced a lot of traumatic events in my life. We had many significant losses in my family in relatively short periods in time. I even ended up in domestic abusive relationship. I felt like I was on a downward spiral in my life. I left university with no plan or strategy. Eventually I got tired of who I was and what I represented. Over the years I found myself lost, seeking, wanting for change and not really discovering who I truly was at the core or what I wanted to do or become in life. I have made mistakes in my lifetime, and I still mess up today. I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect. However, I am real and me [that is all I can be]. I aspire to be a better version of myself daily than I was the day before. When you are your only competition, no one can bring you down [especially when you are so grounded in YOU].
Why is Personal Development and Self-care so important to me and why it should be as important to you?
We are living in a society and in communities whereby you are expected to be perfect or live a lifestyle close to perfection. This leads to unhealthy expectations, habits and relationships. We are constantly ridiculing ourselves. Judging everything about us. We develop unnecessary fears based on the notion to be of a certain standard and to be considered worthy or acceptable to others. Your environment and the people you choose to surround yourself with can literally shape or break who are you as a person. Sometimes you may find that you fall victim to your circumstances and make bad choices in life. I felt like I was trapped in a superficial world and that everything had no real substance after a while. Resentment, disappointment and bitterness were beginning to creep in. Questions kept popping up in my mind. You may simply want to re-evaluate your life and take stock of what you have achieved, who you are as a person, why are you here and what is your purpose in life?
These are the right type of questions I had to ask myself on my journey of self-discovery and accountability. The culmination of all these events and situations in my life had led me to the point where I realized that I want more for myself and the people that are associated with me.
What is personal development - [according to me]?
Personal development can be considered as 3x fold:
Mind - a few examples below among others
Mental Health
Education
Relationships
Mindset
Perspective
Habits
Communication
Choices
Stress management
Conflict management
Discipline
Preparation
Organizing / Analyzing
Reflection
Limits / Limitations
Memory
Skills
Boundaries
Insurance
Financial wellness
Self-awareness
Emotional maturity
Body - a few examples below among others
Health
Beauty
Nutrition
Skin care
Fashion / Style
Dental health
Medical Aid
Routine
Exercise
Sleep habits
Hygiene
Chronic illnesses
Disabilities
Pain management
Prevention
Sex health and awareness
Soul - a few examples below among others
Donations / Charity
Good will
Quality time
Love
Peace
Joy
Happiness
Respect
Hobbies / Passions
Smiling
Laughter
Authenticity
Prayer
Fellowship
Community
Family
Friends
Marriage
Parenting
Spirituality / Faith / Religion
Morality
Prayer
Intention
Kindness
Gratitude
Coaching / Sharing
Now depending on your preferences - who you are - how you cope with certain situations... you could have certain points that overlap with each other in each category. For example: music; nature; spring cleaning or even grief. I started implementing some of the tools I have learned online into my life and also from my own experiences. Let me tell you, it is not easy!!! When I decided that I will start doing some real introspection in my life, I started to lose friends and fighting with my family members more. I was rubbing people the wrong way. It was and still is, very awkward and uncomfortable setting boundaries in your life and enforcing them. At first, I started isolating more and becoming very withdrawn. I was shedding the old me but becoming a person I did not recognize in the process. I looked at it as my time of "unbecoming". When you do inner work and you are on a continuous journey in that pursuit, you tend to pick apart others as if they are on the same path as you. You forget we are all at different crossroads and paths in life and where you are going, that you can't take others along with you hence the terms Personal Development and Self-care. If you want to start experiencing a "rich" life [I am not talking monetary value here], I suggest investing in yourself - your personal development and self-care, because the truth is, no one is coming to save you. No one is coming along to guide you or hold your hand. No one is going to give you the on-going motivation and push you when you need to face life's challenges and tribulations. It is all up to you and you have to put in the work. You are responsible for yourself and the one life that you do have. So, what better time to learn and better yourself than NOW? It's literally up to you to make the change and make the difference. Everyone is searching for true happiness and all the goodness that this life has to offer, in all areas of our lives.
I hope this introduction blog resonated and inspired someone to take a leap of faith on themselves. You will never regret it! Self-care is not selfish and whatever you were taught in that regard is a false narrative. When you are genuinely happy, the world sees it. They want to emulate that. It will make such an impression on the next person to evoke that same thought process and trajectory in their lives. Personal development allows for intentional living and a clear direction in life. You will begin to feel lighter and more peaceful within when you believe in yourself and begin to love who you are. This is going to enrich your life as well as others in your space who get you and understand you. The one person you should never give up on and NEVER neglect is you: your mind; your body and your soul.
Thank you for taking the time to read my INTRO blog. If you could relate to this, please interact with this post. I hope you found some good take-aways here. If you would like to see more posts like this, where I start to unpack some real topics, experiences and solutions - please join the Real Me by JD family and subscribe for the latest notifications to stay abreast on what's new; freebies; printable downloads and so much more.
Ciao for now :-)
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